Saturday, July 29, 2006

A Lawyer Got It Back

I heard a lot of "lawyer jokes", and this is one of my favorites.

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the worst answer.

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. The witness was a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've know you since you were a young boy,and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The Lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the Bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you in jail for contempt."

Saturday, July 08, 2006

58 Days To Go!!!

I really haven't got the time surf or post lately. Well, its understandable coz its barely two months to go before the BAR.

We've just finished Civil Law in Recoletos. Its unfortunate that Justice Vitug was in Spain so the lecture that he was supposed to conduct was cancelled. Hmmm. Rumour has it that he will be one of the examiners. Let's just hope not coz a genius/expert examiner will surely give us a hard time in the BAR.

We are now in our fourth BAR subject TAXATION. Justice Dimaampao has just delivered his lectures in INCOME TAXATION. Presently, Professor Sababan is lecturing in Transfer Taxes. Gosh, Sababan swears a lot. He however gives good jokes. Sample: Bakit daw maraming nagpapakasal pag June? Kasi daw yun ang buwan ng pasukan.

Gotta go back reading.

How time flies........